Gaia Community: Geo's Blog

How did you get to where you are now?

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:01:09 GMT

The easy answer is that I ended up here after I answered an ad in Velo News. An Aspen bike shop was looking for a mechanic, I happened to be a mechanic. However, I was also out of work from my paying job as a construction worker.

I had been out of work for some months, picking up odd jobs here and there, but nothing that lasted more than a week or too. I had dreamed of living in Aspen for some time, having visited to rock climb or bicycle race in the Rocky Mountains over the years. As if on cue, my bluff was called and here was not only a chance to live and work in Aspen, but it was working in a field that I loved and felt that I was good at, too.

I answered the ad.

A week or so later, I received a phone call from the bike shop's owner and he said he wanted to meet with me to discuss the position. Sounded good.

In the meantime, a son of the shop's owner won an Olympic gold medal in the bicycle road race, so a job at this particular shop had just jumped a bit in stature, or at least in my mind it did.

However, the owner and I did not get along at all and I couldn't wait for the summer to end to be free of that hated place. I looked at moving back to the Midwest, Boulder, anywhere but here. My dream of racing, climbing and hiking in the mountains had been ruined, I thought, by a person who held power over me, only because I gave that power to him.

And that started a long, troubled, strife filled life that burned through two marriages, one home, two different jobs, friends and a chunk of my family. Culminating with a six week stay outside of Wickenburg, Arizona trying to figure out just what in the world happened to me, who was I and where was I.

I didn't so much find out who I was as much as I found out who I was not.

I learned that I should start learning.

Realizing that I didn't know much, much less knowing it all, was and is humbling.

I found, late in life, that I could finally share what I see and feel when I am in the heart of my wilderness, my mountains.

Embracing that an apartment that is a tad under 500 square feet can be a castle, especially when the snow is blowing sideways outside.

Life can be a slow release from ignorance, but should still be delved into with all my efforts anyway.

So, that's how I ended up here today. I will be in a different place tomorrow, with new memories and stories, and hopefully, I will have learned new things, too.

Tags: Q&R, journey, life, reflections, path

Water Wild, Passion Red

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 22:55:50 GMT

You were open,

Raw passion red.

Say with music

why water wild

the only rhythm

In young joy

Too surreal.

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River in Fall

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 03:57:33 GMT

In seasonal rain

along a nameless river

Fear, too, has no name.

- Basho

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What confuses you?

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:20:46 GMT

What has confused me for as long as I can remember is our (humanity's) indifference and outright cruelty that it can inflict on the rest of the world.

War, famine, disease, economic plundering, natural resource depletion, need I go on?

In my line of work I occasionally see and confront this cruelty front and center. Amazing.

Other times I see the complete aplomb that others have when the steal, either by force or sophistication. They only want "more". Even though, if I were to ask them to their face, "How much is enough? What are you doing with these riches to help others?" they would have no answer.

A real estate broker here in Aspen sold a home for $46 million. Imagine that 7% commission, then imagine that same broker complaining that business is down and he doesn't know what he's going to do.

That's right, baffling, isn't it?

How much is enough?

A 6 month child shows up in our emergency room and x-rays show broken ribs, and signs of previous broken ribs, all in his too short little life.

Imagine the 18 year-old father saying, "He wouldn't stop crying", as if this were some sort of excuse, permission as it were to wound this child.

Do you realize this is a defenseless child incapable of taking care of even it's most basic of needs?

I haven't been working lately due to some issues, and it's been rather nice to not have to deal with the drunks, the spouse beaters, drug addicts, alcoholics, car wrecks, injuries, animals shot just for some part of their body, then dumped and on and on.

It's nice to not have to deal with those, but I also know in my heart of hearts that these things didn't go away just because I am not there. As I hike along my silent trails in the valleys and up on the mountains, all these things and more are happening every day, every hour, every second.

So what to do to deal with this confusion?

Some time ago I wrote that I can't save everyone, but I save those that I can, and so, if I save you, you save me. I can't do it all, so I do what I can.

The interesting thing about not being at work and being able to spend significant time with myself is the inward looking that can occur during these long walks or just long evenings with myself on the couch letting my mind wander to where it wants.

Wonderful questions come in and announce their presence like, "Am I where I need to be right now?"

I wonder if my line of work is doing the best that I can with what I have at this stage of my life, or do I need to pack it in and bet it all on something else. Hmmmmm.

As the king of Siam said to Anna, "'Tis a puzzlement!"

Tags: Q&R, confusion, bewilderment, understanding

Beauty I've Always Believed......

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:52:05 GMT

A rainy and snowy gray day yesterday brought back to The Moody Blues as I strolled out wet streets, now littered with leaves as our cottonwoods and aspens prepare for a long winter's nap.

I am always struck by the lyrics and the voice of Justin Hayward, even these many years on, his pipes still can send a chill up my spine.

"Letters I've written, never meaning to send....."

"Just what the truth is, I can't say any more..."

So, taking a break from silly errands that I think are important, tracking down epoxy to try to fix Little Blue scooter, paying bills, lost in my thoughts. This is when music always seems to be running 'round in my head, and, depending on the mood, it may be bright, or a bit more on the dark and reflective side. Depending.

Perhaps a proper walk up the valley will shake these Blues.

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Who is the most intriguing person you've met recently?

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 19:59:30 GMT

I've been a bit housebound lately, but I have been out for my usual walks and hikes, yet not really meeting anyone. As always, I check in online with my friends and fellow members of a couple of social networking sites, too.

And this is what fascinates me.

1994 was my first computer with an Internet connection and it allowed me to start connecting with people from all over as the WWW expanded and sped up.

Through the wispy ethereal world of cyber space I have met many, many new friends and close acquaintances that I have never even met in person, a few I have actually spoken to on the phone, but we meet mostly online. Some of these friendships are going on several, if not many years, now.

And we are all tangled and woven into each other's lives, somehow. We care for one another and worry when there is some trouble or strife in our lives. All from afar.

And the world keeps spinning, spinning, weaving us all together in a rather tangled and messy fashion, yet at the same time, beautiful, too.

Which thread I'll follow today and where it will lead, I don't know. Surprise messages from old friends that I haven't heard from in almost a year poke up out of the blue, brightening my day with a message that I might be interested in the latest Speaking of Faith piece about Ojibway language from norther Minnesota where I was born.

I follow the thread, weave in and out and around other friends as we all tumble towards a distant spot. We touch one another in the warp and weft of impermanence aware that the threads will and do eventually turn thinner and more transparent as some disappear from our touch and drift off to places we don't know, can never know until it's our turn.

So, as I take my turn spinning along, the most intriguing person I have met will probably be the next person I meet!

Tags: Q&R, strangers, friends, surprises

Repeat as Neccessary

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 01:58:07 GMT

Keep going, keep trying, keep learning, keep striving, listen to your supporters, ignore and laugh at your detractors, find who your true friends are, look to your inner self, your inner passion and unlock the door and set it all free.

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Peering

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 17:29:54 GMT

Just a quick note today.

A couple of days ago, as I am wont to do, I had walked too far into the back country in order to make it back before the sun bade me goodnight. No big deal, really. I do this all the time and as the seasons change, I am frequently caught out in the dark while strolling along the familiar trails.

I have passed a particular spot so many times I can't count them. Why I stopped this particular evening, I have no idea why. Then, I thought for a moment or two about how I had never looked over the edge and down into the creek bed. The colors were glowing red and a bit of yellow catching some faint light from somewhere.

Now, cameras can actually "see" in the dark far better than our eyes can, so, I thought, what the heck?! I set up the tripod as I knew this would be a long exposure, which let me get lost in the moments for a bit.

My carry-everywhere camera did it's job and found the image.

Packing up I made a mental note; Always remember to look over the edge, off the trail, up or down into the unfamiliar and see what new sights and mysteries might be found!

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What would be the hardest thing to change about yourself?

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 04:49:03 GMT

To stop looking all about me.... There is too much to see in every day life, and especially on my walks, or, "hikes" as I like to call them!

Tags: Q&R, self, change, personality

A Time for Reflection

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 21:32:38 GMT

Fall is about at her peak here in the West Elk Mountains as the colors are now fading and snow in the high country is falling yet again. A great time for me to get out for those long walks on trails I have been on hundreds of times before, yet there is always something new to be found on them. New sights, of course, but also new smells and sounds as well. Yesterday was the day I found the sounds of stillness by the side of a small pond. The pond itself was originally formed when a small dam was built to supply a hydroelectric plant with water to turn the turbines. After the electric plant shut down, the pond was taken over by beavers, ducks, geese, trout, mule deer, elk, a couple of mountain lions and all the rest of the critters that call that mountain valley home. Sitting by it's banks for a bit, the breezes died down, the leaves stopped rustling and even the water itself seemed to quiet itself as the sun was drawing down.

Silence, if even for just a moment gives me pause to reflect on the all-too short passing summer.

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A Sure Fire Cure for the Blues!

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:39:16 GMT

When you are feeling a little down in the dumps, invite friends over to make oatmeal cookies! And always remember to lick your fingers, too!

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Upward

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 06:27:54 GMT

Look upward, for the world lays not at your feet.

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The Conflict Within

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 21:30:20 GMT

Each of us is something of a schizohrenic personality, tragically divided against ourselves.

~ Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love, 1963

~ Photo-Illustration by Geo

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Inkheart Path

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 08:43:20 GMT

This is a fun graphic that was part of a tutorial that was created yesterday. I feel that now my computer has been replaced, software reloaded and new skills learned, this graphic may be my new, maybe brief mantra. To create images, graphics and photo illustrations so that they be printed with ink and viewed. I like the thought of following this path!

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What if we can't save the world?

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 16:12:32 GMT

     This Q&R has been rolling around inside my head for about as long as I have been tinkering with the graphic. The image was fighting me, resisting coming into existence, so I put it away for a while. I would bring it out and back up, start again, brush, layer, effects, duplicate, move, load and then, then I would put it away again, only doing what I could at the moment as I couldn't do it all just then.
     So, I did what I could, as I couldn't do it all.
     I will fix what I can, as I can't fix everything.
     I will save those that I can, as I can't save everyone.
     I will do what I am able to, as I can't do it all.
     I will rescue what I can, but I can't rescue everything and everyone.
     If I rescue me, I will rescue us.

If you rescue yourself, you will rescue me.

Tags: QaR, hope, world, future

What message does your highest self have for you?

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:23:12 GMT

My highest self is peculiar as it sends me messages in the strangest ways. Today, it let me notice a bumper sticker that gave me today's message--

    Turn it off!!
     Walk away from it, take it to the recycle center or thrift store, but get up and out from the danged thing! One cannot, no matter how hard one tries, see the world through a flatscreen no matter how many dots or how high a resolution.

     Thanks, higher self!

Tags: QaR, highest self, wisdom, support, message

Seduction to Destruction

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 21:04:28 GMT

Seduction to Destruction

Comparing and contrasting Aspen, Colorado and Provincetown, Massachusetts via photos and interviews pointing out the amazing similarities in the two destination resorts as they both struggle to maintain and even survive.

Millions of people are seduced by the natural resources that surround Aspen, Colorado in the west and Provincetown, Massachusetts in the east. Siren calls attract folk like the Mailers, the O'Neils, Hawthornes and Henches along with the Pfeiffers and Paepkes, and even Joe-the- plumber types. Everyone drawn to these places has had a promising vision for their life in their respective town. But their visions are melting into air, or at least radically changing, because of greed, politics, buy-and-flip real estate deals, and more. Contemporary booms of various kinds are busts. And the quality of life in these disparate towns is getting further diminished every year in surprisingly similar ways.

This "Seduction to Destruction" project would showcase portraits and quotes from interviews with those who call Aspen or Provincetown "home," for better or worse. I would capture the quality-of-life issues folk in both towns share (i.e., affordable housing, health care, year-round employment, education). I would photograph and interview common worker bees as well as city leaders. I also would photograph the ever increasing "homeless" and, the newest class, the transient homeless in Aspen and Provincetown.

I envision "Seduction and Destruction" would include opening shots of each town with large format photographs, have candid portraits, street shots, video interviews on screen, and archival photos showing a bit of each town's history/people-side-by-side to underscore similarities-and show people in settings that subtly underscore what the towns have in common. A piece of the project could also be broadcast live over the web with interactive web cams so people from each town could talk and interact with the other.

People who either visit or live in towns that cater to tourists, especially, might be intrigued with candid perspectives of these towns' residents. Other people who simply struggle with tough economic times, wherever they live, might find relevance in my "Seduction to Destruction" project.

Being a citizen of Aspen for decades, but also having fallen in love with the Cape over the past years, I've been seduced.
I work for Pitkin County government now, have many friends in Provincetown, and I am in an excellent position to photograph and put together "Seduction to Destruction." It would involve a fair amount of traveling and time to interact with people in both areas during high seasons and low seasons. For example, Provincetown nearly becomes a ghost town in winter while Aspen is usually packed with tourists in the winter. Even so, the time, travel and results would be my "dream assignment."

If any of my Gaia friends would like to help make this dream photographic assignment come true for me, follow the link, read my essay, and if you feel it's worth making it come true, take a few minutes to register, then go back to my essay and vote for it by clicking on the yellow button that says, PICS. Comments left also help to raise my score. There scores of other great ideas and dreams, read them as well and help others make their dreams come true! Thanks.

http://nameyourdreamassignment.com/the-ideas/Geo/seduction-to-destruction/

Tags: Photos, photographic assignment, Provincetown, Aspen

My Dream Assignment

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 05:33:42 GMT

I have submitted a plan for a dream assignment at http://www.nameyourdreamassignment.com/the-ideas/Geo/the-greatest-lake-but-for-how-long/
My dream assignment would be to solo circumnavigate the greatest lake of them all, Lake Superior. I would photographically document the changes, the effects and affects of the changing climate around the largest lake by area and to its inhabitants and denizen both two legged and four. If you have some time, log onto the site, register (it's free) and check out not only my idea, but the hundreds of other worthy ideas that are found there. If I can garner enough votes, I may have a chance at a dream assignment. So, if you have seen some of my photos and read some of my blogs, think about a vote for Geo!

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What is so terrible about fear?

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 03:47:45 GMT

I lead the parade
but the mourners did not follow
death was upon them

I smile at your glance
you don't think it happens to me
yet, death is my neighbor

There is nothing terrible about fear
for even Death itself cannot
steal my happiness

Tags: QaR, fear, life, possibility

Sorrowful Song

http://Karmic-Expediter.gaia.com — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 23:15:10 GMT

I have had this piece on CD for some time, and it draws me into a special place each time I listen to it. And, conversely, I have to be in a special place first, to place the CD into my player, then sit back and let the music, the words, and the images wash over me, drawing out emotions not felt in a while, a bit of a cleansing, too.
Laura posted this video, and it makes the piece even more powerful and piercing for me.
Get quiet, and listen to this piece and maybe find and view the whole movie.

Gorecki Symphony No. 3 "Sorrowful Songs" - Lento e Largo

The third movement of the piece, not heard here, is a folk song in which a mother laments the loss of her soon, whose body she now seeks, the insistent ostinato of the orchestra, pointing a melodic line of the greatest simplicity. The symphony ends with an expression of hope, allowing the boy, killed by cruel enemies, to rest in peace, lulled by God's song-birds and surrounded by the flowers of God.

Kajze mi sie podzoi
moj synocek mily?
Pewnie go w powstaniu
zie wrogi zabily
Wy niecobrzy luzie,
dlo Boga sweitego
cemuscie zabil
synocka majego?

Zodnej jo podpory
juz nie byda miala,
ocy wyplakala.
Chocby z mych lez gorzkich
drugo Odra byla,
jesce by synocka
mi nie ozywila.

Lezy on tam w grobie
a jo nie wiem kandy,
choc sie optuja
miedzy ludzmi wsandy.
Moze nieborocek
lezy kaj w dolecku,
a moglby se lygac
na swoim przypiecku.

Ej, cwierkejcie mu tam,
wy ptosecki boze,
kiedy mamulicka
znaleze go nie moze.
A ty, boze kwiecie,
kwitnijze w okolo,
niech sie synockowi
choc lezy wesolo.

Where has he gone,
My dearest son?
Killed by the harsh enemy, perhaps,
In the rebellion.
You bad people,
In the name of the Holy god,
Tell me why you killed
My dear son.

Never more
will I have his protection,
Even if I weep
My old eyes away,
Or if my bitter tears
Were to make another Order,
They would not bring back
My son to live.

He lies in the grave
I know not where
Though I ask people
Everywhere
Perhaps the poor boy
Lies in a rough trench
Instead of lying, as he might,
In a warm bed.

Sing for him,
Little song-birds of God,
For his mother
Cannot find him.
And God's little flowers,
May you bloom all around
so that my son
May sleep happy.

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